𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙

⛧𝖌𝖔𝖆𝖙𝖈𝖛𝖑𝖙⛧

𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗


Weather tomorrow
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Small GIF NOVEMBER Small GIF

2024.11.6 ☁

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So Trump won, which is either hilarious or horrifying, depending on your outlook. I spent election night crushing Lucky Buddhas and peeling rubber with my boy in Need For Speed Heat. Drifting for democracy, as they say.

Hard

I'm indifferent to the results- I can't say the same for the woman who got out of her car in front of me at the drive-thru ballot box who was having a panic attack because she couldn't find a pen to sign her voting envelope (I gave her a pen, don't worry). Whether this was before or after I drank five Chinese beers is none of your business.

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He's enlightened ✨

End It is a hardcore punk band from Baltimore, Maryland. Another band shown to me during my last trip to Hawaii. If you know more music like this, please email me. Here's their music video for "New Wage Slavery":

Unpleasant Living (2022)

2024.11.5 ☁️

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Forgive me while I migrate my October page; many links will be broken. It's been a tough week and network restrictions plus a depleted data plan are making this site near impossible to test in real time.

Halloween was uneventful. Not a single treat-o'-treater in sight. Our apartment complex is not conducive for that sort of thing. There's actual houses nearby, so the kids probably went there.

I ate all the candy anyways

We watched Bones And All (2022), a romance horror starring everyone's favorite twink:

Smash. Next question

Directed by Luca Guadagnino of Italy, who made my favorite horror remake of all time, Suspiria (2018). I've only seen these two films, but he has a distinct emotional and visual style that I'm fond of.

Bones And All is a string of hits with some bad misses. Guadagnino nails it when it comes to horror scenes. His depiction of (spoiler alert) cannibalism feels grounded and brutal. There's some excellent character casting, notably Mark Rylance as "Sully", a seemingly kind and lonely stranger with a terrifying dark side.

Where the movie loses me is in its romance scenes. The uniquely eerie and unnerving ambient soundtrack is undercut by the corniest Love Is Blind generic acoustic jerkoff tunes during moments of intimacy between Chalamet and Russell. These scenes scream YA novel and are a jarring contrast to the intial tone of the film.

POV Chamelet's knees

Frustrating music and dialogue aside, Bones And All is a decent cannibal love story (find me one better). I haven't seen Guadagnino's weird tennis orgy movie (I prefer ping pong), but his films certainly have my attention.

Senza released their new EP, Celestial Body. I ran into their guitarist/vocalist on Friday, who played a post-Halloween cover show as Orchid. I loved it.

My photos from Mt. Hood came in, which I'm very pleased with, plus more show photos from Snake Farm (I'll save those for another post). We got a close look at Timberline Lodge, which served as the exterior for the Overlook Hotel in The Shining (1980).

My weekend mania (which included buying pillows and screaming at the floor) culminated in an impulsive attempt to build a riser for my tv stand, frenetically bombarding ChatGPT with questions about drill clutch settings and screw sizes. I became the lunatic upstairs neighbor building wood projects on the balcony while wearing a COVID mask.

I shifted the living room couches around in an attempt to "lamp out" with my newly elevated tv, only the move everything back the following day. Now this splintery plywood hastily screwed to four 4x4s serves as a makeshift stand/bench for my MG15, and I own a brand new Ryobi drill for seemingly no reason.

Hey, good lookin'

Despite my sunk costs, I at least feel a sense of accomplishment for building something with my hands. I forget who said it, but I heard working hard on things strengthens neural pathways, even if the process doesn't yield favorable results. I'm afraid it was Joe Rogan.

America's uncle

If you've been following me on neocities, you might have seen my manic.html page go up and down several times. I made it during a nervous meltdown that spiked at the tail-end of last week. I've had some time to calm down and reflect on this. I'm keeping the page down, as it's tough for me to look at what I wrote in the midst of a literal panic attack (the intention was to document what I was feeling while my brain chemicals were misfiring).

I've shown signs of emotional dysregulation since I were a kid. I was a military brat, and we moved around. I was also homeschooled for a long time, and was sometimes left alone while my parents worked. At one point, we lived on a horse ranch. There were no neighbor kids to play with, so the experience was isolating, in retrospect.

Eventually we moved into the suburbs, where I did make friends. While that was great, I started to lash out in my early teens, and I became too harsh for my mother, who convinced me to attend public school. Suffice to say, I had difficulities adjusting socially.

I'm getting into strange territory, so I'll stop here. Talking about this has been therapeutic, but I want to take things slow. Unpacking too much at one time will burn me out. Until next time.

Ever since we moved to the ranch,
I've been followed by a profound sense of loneliness

>>OCTOBER



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